They go on and on!

As is my wont, I was sitting on my front stoop reading my newspaper this morning. As usual, it was full of all the crazy goings-on in Washington. Two questions pervaded my thoughts. (1) What is causing this craziness? and (2) How can it be corrected? I think I have come up with the answer to both questions. Let me know if this makes any sense.

As we all know, the members of Congress all blow off a lot of hot air. This creeps into the Capital Rotunda. I learned in my physics classes that as air warms in an enclosed container, the pressure increases. Hence, the atmosphere in congress becomes a high pressure area.

Now we all know that high pressure areas spin clockwise. Hence as we stand in the center of the rotunda (That's where most Americans are.}, everything is turning to the right. That's where the trouble lies. How can we correct this problem? Well, we need to lower the pressure. One solution would be to vent that hot air out into the atmosphere, but that would just contribute to global warming. Hence, that is not a satisfactory solution.

The only other possibility is to lower the temperature. So we will install a monster air conditioning system in the capital building. We will use a geothermal heat pump so that we do not continue to raise the outside temperature. If we keep the temperature at about 55 degrees, the pressure will be lowered and we all know that low pressure areas spin counter-clockwise. Now as we stand in the center of the rotunda, everything will turn to the left. Now things are moving in the correct (not right) direction. Our country is again on course towards Utopia.

There are some side benefits from this solution. First, we do not need to heat the capital in the winter. That will save energy and also help the global warming problem. Secondly, some of that cooler air will seep out into the atmosphere again contributing to the environment.

However, the greatest benefit will be to the political climate. With the temperature at 55 degrees, congressional leaders will say, "Hey, let's stop talking and get this stuff done and get the hell out of here and go someplace where it is a lot warmer." The right always wanted to reduce government. Here's their chance.

So I challenge my readers. If you have a better plan, let's hear it. If not, send a letter to the janitor at the capital building and tell him to turn the heat down. See you next week.