Painless Ways to Cut Back on Calories

I understand more than 50% of Americans are overweight. I know I am. The over-riding question is: "Are there simple ways of cutting back on calories?" Johnny Carson told us years ago that celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to chew it than one consumes from the food. But how much celery can one eat? A little is good, but too much celery is pretty boring food.

After much serious study and research, I have come up with a number of foods and methods of eating them that have absolutely no calories. I hope you take these with a grain of salt.

Chop Sticks
Dieting Tools
  • Food that you eat off someone else's plate.

  • Food that you bring home from the restaurant in a box.

  • Food that you pick at while preparing it.

  • Food that you consume while standing in front of the refrigerator.

  • Any snacks that fit in the palm of your hand.

  • Samples that are served in the grocery store.

  • Cheese and sandwich meat that are given you by the clerk to judge the thickness or quality.

  • Food consumed at a sporting event.

  • Food eaten after someone says, "One piece won't hurt you."

  • Anything that says "fat free" or "sugar free."

  • Those things consumed in liquid form.

  • Food eaten with chopsticks.

  • Any food eaten while playing "Chopsticks."

  • Any food eaten while chopping sticks. (groan!!!!!)

    So, you get the idea. It's not so much what you eat, but how you get the food that is important. See, dieting is not nearly as restrictive as you thought. Happy dieting!

    - The Old Professor

    Copyright © Jay D Weaver - December 17, 2002

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