Jay D Weaver's Thought for the Week - Forty-six Years of Married Bliss

Forty-Seven Years of Married Bliss

In The Beginning

On July 16, 2002 my wife and I celebrated the forty-seventh anniversary of our marriage. Why did I italicize the word bliss in the title? According to the dictionary, the word "bliss" means: great happiness; perfect joy; delight; rapture; joy of heaven; and blessedness among other synonyms. Now, let's face it, some of those words apply and others might be over-stated. Surely, not every second of every one of those 17,167 days has been blissful. What other words might describe some of those moments? Let's look at some possibilities.

blitz - A Sudden Attack: The stresses of living sometimes cause us to strike out at the ones we love with a suddenness that is usually disarming to the other person. This is always a cause for later regret. We say things which cannot be taken back and which ususally hurt deeply.

blintz - A thin, folded pancake filled with cheese, cream, or jelly: Sometimes we spread it on pretty thick. The extra sweetness is either because of feelings of guilt resulting from a blitz, or because we are trying to prepare the other person for a special request. A blintz is a pleasant experience, but not very nourishing.

blight - A thing that withers hope: How often our own selfishness can cause our partner to lose faith in the relationship and lessen the hope for bliss.

blither - nonsense; blather: A sense of humor is important in any relationship, but it isn't all fun and games. A good relationship requires serious effort and hard work to blossom.

blizzard - A violent, blinding snowstorm with a very strong wind and extreme cold: How often we try to snow the other person to cover our own failings. That usually requires a lot of wind and results in feelings of extreme coldness.

Now that we have looked at some of the non-blissful side of marriage, what does constitute a healthy, fruitful, and growing relationship. A few of the things that come to mind are:

respect - When we respect our spouses, we are showing them that they are worthwhile to us, and that we want to see them grow. The only way a marriage can become deeper is through mutual respect.

caring - Love requires us to put the other person first. We truly care what their feelings and needs are. Although our own needs are important, they should become second to the needs of our spouses.

togetherness - The two shall become one flesh. This is true not only physically, but spiritually. Most of the time we move and have our being within the mutual relatipnship.

individuality - Each of the partners in the relationship is still an individual person. That person must be allowed the freedom to grow and develop their own personality and creativity.

passion - Let's face it, this is the heart of any marriage. What really drives the species? It is the passion which results in an intimacy that comes closest to the meaning of the word "bliss."

Neither of these lists is exhaustive. Those of us who have entered into the bonds of matrimony possess a wealth of experiences to look back on. Many of these are in the first list. Hopefully, most are in the second list. My Mary and I have had a good marriage. We both could have put forth more effort. There are times we both failed badly. However, all in all, I wouldn't change it drastically. We have respected and cared for each other. We have done many things together, and yet allowed each other the space to develop individually.

Most of all there has been a passion in our marriage that has resulted in two wonderful children, and a bond that has kept us together for forty-seven years. I think there has been a lot of bliss in those forty-seven years. I am sure if we enjoy good health, there will be many more years of bliss to come. Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart. I am blissfully yours. Jay

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