Good to the Last Drop

Each morning while naming the animals, and each evening while walking with God in the cool of the evening, Adam heard the clippety-clop of a donkey on the road that ran along the edge of the Garden of Eden. One morning he walked down the lane to the road to see what it was. He met a man leading a donkey towards the mountains to the west. Adam called out, "Forsooth, good neighbor, who are you, and wherefore goest thou?" (People said forsooth a lot in those days, but King James didn't want people to confuse the bible with Shakespeare so he forbade its use in the bible.) "My name is Juan Valdez, and I go to the mountain to pick coffee beans," the man replied. (He spoke English because the tower of Babel had not yet been built and nobody spoke Spanish in those days.)

"Tell me my good man, what dost thou do with these coffee beans?" asked Adam. Juan replied, "People grindeth them up and boileth them in water and drinketh them in a cup. It helpeth them to wake up in the morning." "Wow!" replied Adam, "I could sure use that. Ever since Eve met this snake guy, she keepeth me up half the night trying to get me to eat an apple. I don't like apples. They giveth me gas. Juan, I am so tired in the morning I can hardly get going. Wouldst thou let me try some of those coffee beans? I have an old cup the snake left in the garden that comes from the local Motel 6."

So it came to pass that Juan gave Adam some coffee beans. He surely felt better in the mornings after having his cup of coffee, but he didn't like chewing on those grounds. The next morning he went out to meet Juan again, and asked him if there wouldn't be a way to make the coffee without having to chew on the grounds at the bottom of the cup. "Oh yes!" Juan replied, "The day will come, but is not yet here, when people will make their coffee in a Mr. Coffee machine, but we must wait until Joe Dimaggio arrives to sell it on television. In that day, people will say, 'Give me a cup of Joe', and they will drink it without getting grounds in their teeth. Until then you will just have to chew on them."

And so it came to pass that a new custom began in the garden. Each morning Adam would boil his coffee, and fill the garden with a wonderful aroma. Finally Eve said to Adam, "If you tryest a bite of my apple, I will taketh a sip of your coffee." Adam finally took a bite of her apple, but that's another story, and we'll leave that for another day.